i admit i do have trust issues but these men now days get around. So again, my opinion is that putting so much weight on the actual number is a mistake. Thats gross!!! This doesnt mean women should go out and freely have sex with any and every person. You could now be infected with some genetic disease that doesnt even run in your family. If you want to examine the paper, look it up yourself. Also consider that all people who engage in a lot of casual sex have higher rates of depression and low self-esteem and lower rates of life satisfaction. If you slept with a lot of people how exactly do you expect people to view you. Whether you question it or not is irrelevant. But what we all know is that everyone has a past. As sad and hard as it seems its true I understand the views of all who have chimed in on this topic. However, he is a hard-working and rich man. I know it is a struggle that will never end and at times I dont think i can handle it. Its not unusual for women in my age bracket (53) to have had 100 men! If the guy hasn't had that many partners, then it might be an issue. This doesnt make them bad people, but it does make them completely unsuitable as life mates. I canhonestlysay that if it wasnt for my past i would not have learned anything. There is not much left. Men like having a feeling of conquering and powerlessness. you have issues so you didnt have problems with your wife introducing you to her exs and flirting with them..?? /Especially/ when choosing a mate. Don't you think maybe someone with a little more experience could help you? Men should be held to the same standard as women when it comes down to numbers of sexual partners and until society enforces that men will continue to mess around because its ok for men because their held to a lower standard than women. Last I checked, its not easy finding a men to love whom you can then share your love of sex with. One would have to define perfect first. They want a woman who has chosen You make a great case for why women should not be promiscuous, but what the article is trying to convey is that their past should not be held over their head forever. Part of that process takes proper communication. I dont thing something is wrong with a man who does not like the idea of competing with a womans past. Look stephan r watever ur name is.. it DOES matters and you sitting behind a damn screen debating with tha whole world on tha number of men a women sleeps with shouldnt matter when in reality it does in todays world. I could care less but its true. It does matter how many men, a woman someone, you want to not only know about who they are, but who they This is a topic that deserves a great deal of attention so perhaps some of these idiotic ideals will be eradicated. 1)Sexually Transmitted Diseases (Sex with lots of people increase the chance that you have them) Heres me who was afraid to even chat with a woman online suddenly decides to get on a plane for 13hours and go meet her, we spent an amazing month together, best time of my life at the end of it for some reason I asked her, how many guys you been with her response was I lost cou- I mean I cant remember maybe 30. Well sir, my past should not matter. Your honor, Ive been arrested for those rapes which occurred 4 years ago. But nonetheless your human bro. I'm looking for ways to reflect on this situation so I can movie forward in not let my toxic behavior leak out. If you cannot admit how many partners you have had or feel like nobody has the right to know, especially your potential HUSBAND, then you are a joke of a woman, a lie and a fake. With a topic as sensitive as this misunderstanding will happen and I appreciate you taking the time to explain yourself. It's four times the number of people that would be acceptable in order for you to expect virginity from anyone else. First let me say that I really like the advice that you post even though I occasionally disagree with your views, the vast majority of the time (92-97%) I feel that your advice perfectly sums up the solution that is going to bring about the best results. Lets try this on for size: The woman I started dating after college was the complete opposite. Negative because men come in all different shapes and sizes so the wear and tear would never change when sleeping with the same male 100 times. And thats why marriage is on the decline and will go steadier After all, the past is the past, and none of us are perfect, and who are we to judge, right? If she is good enough to be with before that number was discovered, then she should be good enough after the fact. the fire between them grows up again and they start f..ng silly like bunnies behind your back! Yes, her past is hurtful and hard for us both. I Think that u r bringing this up is great and it needs to be talked about more.i Think when u Get older u Think more about this things and talk about it and see that people can change and of course u go thrue life experiance different things.we r not all the same and what people do different things and shouldnt be jugded by their past. the women do to. If i come up to you and say, hey wanna fuck ? so much more than women!! So when women say that having sex with lots of men is somehow acting like men, they are wrong. Tell her your own. If a guy was to meet me he would never guess my number is so high because its all about how I carry myself. Im sure /your/ marriage will be different though. I swear, idiots..youre just being selfish. issue out, then you should get out. In my opinion, it kinda shows what type of person you are and how much respect you have for yourself. When done, breath deeply,. We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. I could go on forever but Ill stop here. Really think about this! Be happy you have a girl. Especially when you are getting up into the mid Twenties to Hundreds. To finally find a person you connect with, is it really best for you to move away from that because of a number. Its not right for one gender and wrong for the other. Months later she reveals that she many years ago she was promiscuous but since then has walked away from that approach to sex and shares the same values as you right now. I personally would have never dated a guy who has slept around a lot. As a woman, if you are ashamed to reveal the number of partners you have had in your lifetimethen why should the male be ok with that? Do you think she Will she affected by my departure? Oh, and learn how to use Google. At the end of the day, its all about what works to pass on genes. I think you may be just saying what you think sounds right or politically correct, without actually thinking through the implications. I like how you caught yourself on that : ). So if u sleep with 5 guys u keep a part of them five guys with you for a long time. Yeah, but it does and that's the way a lot of people think. We dont know how many partners a woman should have. I appreciate you sharing that. I dont know why I feel hurtas i said, I believe people have the right to do what they want. However, now that Im older and know what love is I dont open my legs as willingly. If you cant provide a woman with certain things you will always leave the possibility of that relationship going in the wrong direction. All they ever wanted was one person they could be comfortable around and have compatible morals with, and not wanting casual sex is generally due to those morals. So again it isnt the number, it is how they behave today and if they have addressed any issues from the past that can linger and hurt them and the person they enter into a relationship with. For rich or for poor.. Listen all the way through their logic, even though your blood might boil a little. Your source was concerned with the myth of high rate of divorce in general, and was not studying the relatively high incidences of higher divorce amongst women with more sexual partners. life. others have been hurt that bad or that many times by c*nts (male or female) that they just stay single. What girl will you marry? This is a really touchy issue for me. Though, I have had one hell of a rough life and never used sex as an outlet. Know why? Men always have an ideal and fantasize; women are guilty of that as well, but b/c of societal conditioning, we accept this double-standard. Secondly, men want to marry women who have not slept with a I will definitely address it and I hope you let me know what you think when that time comes : ). I dont feel, I KNOW that there is a double standard at play. A possible promiscuous woman is a very valid concern for a man potentially wanting her as a girl friend or more. Not only wasnt my dad in my life basically I got to the point where I was screwing a man using me I was gon do the using. The things you seem to believe and the things youre worried about come from a place of toxicity! So shes had a lot of partners at the same time in the past- if everyone in the situation knew what was up (that there was no expectation of monogamy), then theres no harm to it! Yes I think waiting till marriage is the best thing to do (which I will discuss in a future post) but I still acknowledge the fact that many of us make a choice to engage in sexual activity before marriage. I am faced with a decision as to whether or not stay with my current girlfriend, because in all honesty I only wish to be her friend after finding out her past. Or whether you were once a stripper. I love the fact the despite only being with one man, you are still able to take the position of not using someones past against them. There are a lot more incidents which i wont get into for the sake of keeping this short. The amount of partners a person chooses to share themselves with sexually reflects on that persons character and values. Sin is sin is sin. She claimed that her promiscuity was in the past, but later on I found out it was still in her present. Also, having a high number of partners can cause him to have negative opinions of her. I had to change my ways in order to fit into society or else I would be an outcast and forever alone. Since men have choices, we can choose to reward or punish this sluttiness on the part of young women. So having lots of casual sex it a good indicator that a woman has emotional problems. Past promiscuity is not what causes a marriage to fail in my opinion. There are so many things that enrage me about this article and the post below that I dont know where to begin Let me begin by saying that I am infuriated by the ignorance that surrounds this topic and the comments below. Some of the points you made in your last response was where I was trying to go, but duty called and I had to cut my post short. Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. I told her that unless she knew those particular girls background, she really had no basis to formulate a judgment. 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